


Piece by Piece

by Tamoline



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1992300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamoline/pseuds/Tamoline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problems between Alicia and Kalinda are never going to solved all at once. The best that can be hoped for is something over time, piece by piece</p>
<p>Written for sweetjamielee's <a href="http://sweetjamielee.livejournal.com/106698.html">Everything Changes" 2014 TGW Ficathon</a>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piece by Piece

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Petit à petit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2439383) by [hotladykisses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotladykisses/pseuds/hotladykisses)



> Prompt: Alicia/Kalinda - armor

Alicia tracks Kalinda’s movement through the glass walls of the meeting room, watching as she sashays through the office. In Lockhart-Gardener, she’d always had a kind of invulnerable mystique, an aloofness that had kept her separate from the bustle and gossip of everyday life in the office.

Here, at the moment, she *is* the gossip. Anyone who hadn’t seen Diane practically ordering her to sleep with Cary in an attempt to influence him has heard about it from someone who did. As she wends her way past desk and chair, everyone’s eyes are on her - well, everyone who’s isn’t either in the meeting room or clustered around the entrance - the men’s tending towards assessing, the women’s towards judging.

It’s unfair, and Alicia hates it, even given her own ambivalence towards Kalinda’s reintroduction into her professional life. She may even hate it more than the, related, situation she’s currently in - the meeting between the name partners to decide her fate.

Diane is cool, steadfast. “When you agreed to accept me as a name partner to the firm, Kalinda came with me. She’s the best in-house I’ve ever worked with, and we’re not getting rid of her now.”

Cary is anything but. “I don’t know what the decision making was like at Lockhart-Gardener, but here we don’t keep people on out of sentiment. We only need one full time investigator, and Robyn has seniority. So Kalinda goes.” His words are impassioned, but even if he honestly has no ulterior motive, truly has moved on from the humiliation he suffered in front of the firm, no one here is going to completely believe him.

No matter what the truth of the matter is, Kalinda’s always going to be a reminder, to the office if nothing else, that he can influenced through his libido.

“One for, one against,” Diane notes, then looks at Alicia, one eyebrow raised. “What’s it going to be?”

Alicia takes a moment to answer. Relations with Cary are fragile enough at the moment; openly opposing him here could cause the firm to fracture even more. And, motivated by bruised ego or not, his arguments do have weight. They don’t need another in-house, and what does she really owe Kalinda anyway?

And yet…

Before she can conclude that thought, Cary cuts in.“Rule by name partner isn’t the way things are done here at Florrick, Agos and Lockhart. Why don’t we throw the question out to the partners, the people whose pockets her wage will come out of?” He’s obviously playing to the crowd gathered around the meeting room, looking around to garner scattered agreement with his words.

It’s a good move, Alicia has to admit. It takes the pressure off her, means that she won’t be responsible for Kalinda’s continued employment. And, of course, it indirectly practically guarantees that Cary will have his way - Diane is too new here to have her own supporters yet, meaning that Cary’s partisans will take the day unless Alicia actively works to keep Kalinda on.

Diane’s lips thin, but she doesn’t say anything out loud, unwilling to contest Cary publicly in such a way when she has yet to feel out the office culture to her satisfaction.

It makes sense to agree with Cary, throw the question open. It does.

She catches Kalinda’s eye through the glass wall from where she’s propping herself up against the wall. Her expression is as inscrutable as Alicia can remember seeing her. If she knows what they’re discussing in here - and Alicia isn’t sure how she couldn’t - there’s absolutely no sign of it in her face or body.

A frisson, annoyance or amusement or *something*, goes through Alicia’s body and she opens her mouth to make her decision…

 

“Hey,” Kalinda says from behind her, inflectionless, as she’s waiting for the elevator.

She almost jumps, but doesn’t and a burst of anger rolls through her, at Kalinda, at herself for being surprised at Kalinda’s ability to materialise out of nowhere.

But there seems to be no good reaction to give, not now, not here in the office, so she waits in silence for the elevator to shudder and groan its way to the top and the doors to open.

Because this is the kind of day she’s having, of course, of *course*, Kalinda follows her in, stands on the opposite side, regards her impassively. The elevator immediately feels too small, like her and Kalinda aren’t *supposed* to be in such close proximity anymore, like they need to have more room. A stadium’s worth, maybe or possibly the distance of a phone call.

Not like this, where they’re practically…

The elevator creaks as the doors close, and as they do so, Kalinda relaxes slightly. Not much, not into anything like readability, but enough to make Alicia realise quite how stone-like she’d made herself whilst in the office.

“So?” she says, inflecting the word to make it a question rather than a statement.

“Don’t you already know?” Alicia asks, bizarrely defensive. “Why aren’t you talking to Diane about this?”

Kalinda shrugs minutely with one shoulder, apparently as much answer as Alicia’s going to get.

“It’s complicated,” Alicia says. “Diane was adamant we keep you, but we already have Robyn, and Cary, well…” she trails off a little awkwardly.

“Still minds that I managed to fuck him and use him whilst he was fucking me and using me,” Kalinda says succinctly.

Alicia nods in acknowledgement. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Kalinda’s face shutters again, and she presses against the wall, moving minutely away from Alicia. “Sounds simple to me,” she says in cynical tone that clearly communicates just what she expects the simple solution to be.

The elevator shudders to a halt at the ground floor, but before Kalinda can escape, Alicia takes a breath. “Wait,” she says, reaching out on instinct to lay a hand on the leather of Kalinda’s jacket. “We came up with a solution…”

 

“Look, Alicia,” Eli says. “We’ve done all the research we can do, we’ve put as much of the word out as we can, we put out feelers with all the important people that I can find, but here, now, you’re either going to have to shit or get off the pot. Bottom line - are you going to announce that you’re running for State’s Attorney or not?” As he speaks, his hands fly around, illustrating each sentence as if that will drive the importance of it home.

Alicia can see Kalinda standing behind Eli and to the right. Her face is as calm as ever, but Alicia has to stifle a smile as Kalinda rolls her eyes slightly at Eli’s more bombastic theatrics.

But he’s right. She has put off making a full commitment for as long as she can. She looks pensively down at his desk. If only she didn’t feel so torn about this.

Of course, if she wasn’t torn, she’d have given him an answer a long time ago.

“Can you give me a minute?” she asks and starts towards the door, intent on getting some distance from him so she can just *think*.

Eli points an accusing finger at her. “You! Stay there. If you need some time alone, I can go somewhere else. But by the time that you exit this room, I want a firm commitment one way or another.”

Alicia runs a hand through her hair. “Then go,” she says.

“Fine,” Eli says, starting towards the door before turning and waving a finger at her. “But remember! A decision before you walk through this door.”

“Don’t worry, Eli, I understand,” she sighs. “No, Kalinda, please stay,” she adds before Kalinda can follow Eli out.

Kalinda has an inquisitive, if coolly amused, look on her face as she leans back against the wall. “Yes?”

“I need to talk this out with someone.” And Kalinda’s here, even if…

Well, even if.

“Pretty sure Eli would be delighted to volunteer.”

Alicia glares at her. “*He’s* half the problem. He’s so… invested.”

“Whereas I have nothing but my pay-check to lose.,” Kalinda says, giving her a half smile. “So?”

“I’ve spent the last year of my life building up Florrick and Agos, keeping it afloat. If I become State’s Attourney, that’ll mean abandoning it. And just running will mean that I’ll lose support amongst the partners.”

“Sounds like you don’t want to go for it.”

“But this kind of opportunity might not come around again. Ever since Peter went to prison, I’ve managed to make a name for myself as a lawyer, as a name partner in a successful firm. But the chance to take political office on my own merit… And I’d certainly be better for the post than Castro.”

“You make a good case, Counsellor.”

Alicia can’t help breaking out into a smile. “Sometimes, you’re no help, you know that?”

“Not sure I’m paid to be. Made a decision?”

Alicia closes her eyes, takes a breath, centres herself. “Yes,” she says. "I'm..."

 

Alicia walks off the podium with a tightly controlled mix of anger and fear knotting up her stomach.

“What the hell *was* that?” she demands.

Eli holds up his hands in a placating fashion, which doesn’t help one bit. “We’re already looking into it. I’ve already got Kalinda on the case.”

“Peter is going to-“

“Please, dear god, Peter is going to do *nothing*,” Eli says, fisting his hands and rolling his eyes towards heaven. “At least where anyone else can see. You’ve got to be seen to be able to fight your own battles.”

“This is not my battle. This is my *children*.”

“You know how this goes, Alicia. We’ve both been here before.”

“Yes, but this time,” Alicia says, then cuts herself off. Because they have been here before, and she should have known it was coming. But this time it was for her sake, not Peter’s, and there was no one else she could be angry at.

Eli rubs his eyes. “Look, Alicia, go back to the office to prepare for that case you’ve got tomorrow. We’ve got everything in hand, and I’ll let you know when it’s sorted.”

She’s still working at seven that night, unable to get rid of the jittery buzz flooding her system, unable to go home, to face her children, when a rapping on her desk disturbs her concentration, making her jump.

“Kalinda,” she says, catching her breath.

Kalinda smiles enigmatically down at her. “It’s sorted,” she says.

“He’s not going to-“

“He’s been convinced it’s in his own best interests not to.”

She thinks about asking how, but then decides if Kalinda is deliberately not saying anything, there’s probably a good reason for that. A vindictive part of her hopes that whatever it was, it hurt. A lot. “Okay,” she says instead, “Good.”

Kalinda casts a slow look around the office, at all the young lawyers still here, beavering away at their billable hours, then back down at Alicia. “Go out for a drink, commemorate your first ambush interview?” she asks, and her smile, if not hopeful, is at least softer than Alicia can remember for…

Can remember for a long time.

Maybe it’s the stress of the day. Maybe it’s the way that, as her poll ratings rise, she’s slowly being excluded more and more from the decisions being made around here. Maybe it’s none of these reasons, but Alicia can’t help a smile of her own curving her lips and saying…

 

“Mom, that woman you used to work with is at the door,” Grace shouts from the direction of the living room.

Alicia looks up from the papers she had been studying from the refuge of her bed and stifles a sigh, because ‘woman she used to work with’ could cover any number of people. Still, she’s not entirely surprised to see that it’s Kalinda standing at the front door.

“Hey,” she says as soon as she sees Alicia.

“Good evening, What can I do for you?”

Kalinda waves an orange notebook at her. “Some things turned up. Thought you’d want to kept in the loop.”

“How long is this going to take?”

Kalinda hesitates. “An hour or so?” she hazards.

“This way,” Alicia says, waving her in. “I’d seat you somewhere civilised, but Grace has friends around.”

Kalinda quirks her lips. “Yeah. Best not.”

Alicia leads her to her bedroom. “Find somewhere to sit. Do you want a drink?”

Kalinda stands motionlessly for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face, before looking at Alicia. “Yeah,” she says. “Drink sounds good.”

By the time she gets back, a couple of beers in her hand, Kalinda is sat rigidly right on the edge of the bed, staring at her notebook. She looks up as Alicia enters, and accepts the bottle. Slowly, over the course of the next hour, as she briefs Alicia about some newly uncovered avenues of attack and associated background information, she unwinds, relaxes, until she’s laying on the bed next to Alicia, sharing her notes as though they’re students studying for a test.

After she’s finished, after Alicia has no more questions for her, silence falls between them. Slowly, quietly, Kalinda turns to look at her. “Do you remember the last time we were like this?” she asks quietly, looking as open, as vulnerable as Alicia could remember seeing.

Alicia tries to smile, but can’t, tries to speak, but can’t, so she settles for a nod instead.

Silence falls again, but this time it’s charged with something that Alicia can’t quite put her finger on.

And then it’s lost as Kalinda blinks, seems to remember herself, and Alicia can see her shields start to go up again, and it’s suddenly, so weirdly, painful that she can’t bear it, that she just has to reach over, rest her hand on Kalinda’s wrist, and…

 

A hand reaches out from a door and grabs Alicia by the wrist, pulling her into darkness before she can so much as protest. There’s a click and an overhead light flickers to life, revealing that she’s been manhandled by… Eli? into a … janitorial closet?

Suddenly the day has taken on a very surreal air.

“Eli,” she hisses. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Spill it,” he says.

“Spill what?” she asks, cold knots tightening in her stomach.

“Why are my candidate and my chief digger of truths that need to discovered suddenly avoiding each other?”

The pressure in her stomach only increases. “We’ve always had a volatile relationship.”

His eyes narrow. “If it’s a personal conflict, I can handle it. If it’s anything that could affect the campaign, I need to know. Right now.”

She hesitates, and Eli presses the advantage. “And you and Kalinda, not working on all cylinders? Affects the campaign.”

She’s bluffed judges and opposing counsels, even lawyers that knew her so, so well. But this- this she needs to talk about, with someone. And Eli, for all his bluster, doesn’t judge, not in any sense that matters to her, and he’ll take any secret she tells him to the grave.

So she opens her mouth, and says…

 

The bright lights on the stage in front of her are almost blinding, and the sound of clapping is already a low roar. She takes one last look around at the team that has gotten her this far, that has won her this election. Eli starts glaring at her as her gaze trails towards the back, towards the shadows…

Towards Kalinda.

Eli holds up one finger, and she’s fairly sure he’s muttering something about giving him just one day as State’s Attorney without a scandal. She can’t help smirking a little as she holds up two fingers towards him, a more than fair bargain in her mind, and he rolls his eyes at her.

Then her eyes leave him behind, and focus on Kalinda, and her smile, for just one moment, feels like the dawn of a new day.

And for just one moment, Kalinda gives her a smile that dazzles her more than all the floodlights on the stage could hope to.

And for just one moment…


End file.
